Monday, May 9, 2011

Don't Cry For Me, Pennsylvania

I just went to add a link to the blog of a friend here in Pennsylvania, and I had to create a new header for "Pennsylvania Friends" to add a link to this ONE friend's blog. So, basically, it's been a whole year and it appears I've made one friend. That's not true, actually. I've made four friends (I think) and several nice acquaintances. It's just the other three friends don't have blogs. Don't worry, if a person doesn't have a blog, she still exists. (Much like if something cute or funny happens and I don't take a picture or blog about it...IT STILL HAPPENED (I have to remind myself of this sometimes)).

Unfortunately, one of my three friends is moving to North Carolina next week. Boohoo! (Unfortunate for me, but fortunate for her and her husband -- he is taking a promising new job.) I'm excited for her, but I'll miss her and her sweet little girl.

We just switched wards, of course, and I've met many nice acquaintances here. I hope some friendships develop. It's hard to make friends once you're an adult. (Especially if it was already hard enough when you were a kid!)

---Important Interjection: Sawyer has torn apart an empty Herr's Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips bag and is LICKING the salty-sour residue from the inside of the bag. I think we know whose child this is! ---

Okay, back to the difficulty of making friends. (Hmmm, maybe the fact that I'm the type of person from whom a child could learn something like that has something to do with my inability to make friends?) This post about missing friends, especially when family is far away too, on the blog Ali Loves Curtis really struck a chord with me. (Ali was the mastermind of dearly-departed Your Heart Out -- no new content since January 2010, but still lots of great stuff in the archives, so go ahead and click that link). I look at that post and think, if someone cute and funny with an up-to-date wardrobe and haircut and a knack for graphic design, writing, and photography, who can manage to get noticed by Elle Decor --- if this person is having a hard time making meaningful connections in a new town, what hope do I, having NONE of those things, have? Of course, I made most of my best friends when I looked like this (or previous years' versions of the same basic look), so let's say looks aren't everything when it comes to making friends. But what is? How do you do it? Who are your closest friends right now, at this phase of your life, and how did you make those connections? Tell me your experiences and give me your best advice.

By the way, this post isn't meant to be sad. That's why it's called "DON'T Cry For Me, Pennsylvania". I like it here and there are lots of great things to see and do, and many nice people. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to my vacation to Utah in two weeks, and hoping to see as many friends as possible while I'm there!


  1. I think friendships develop in all kinds of ways (look at us). Moving makes it harder. I find that I have to go to ward activities even when I don't want to.

  2. I miss you and can't wait to see you soon! I too have a VERY hard time making new friends and in general being social. I really have to WORK at it and sometimes I don't WANT to because it is almost physically painful but if I make myself it is usually worth it. I also think we get help from above sometimes, forcing us into situations where new friends are basically handed to us. Who ever thought a girl who liked to read encyclopedias for fun would meet another girl who liked to do the same thing in her new neighborhood when she was little!

  3. Friends? Do we have to make friends? I'm so bad at it. I feel like the ones I've had I've had for a long time. The newer ones aren't as deep or comfortable as my long-standing ones. That's probably my fault. I don't try very hard. Because it's hard to reach outside myself and trust others.

    BTW - I don't think I ever told you how much I think Beck looks like your dad. (Esp. in your family photo.) Which means he looks a lot like you too.

  4. SISTER! I am sorry! I always read your blog and rarely comment. I have been meaning to say that you could do as they do on the movie Fight Club and join groups like AA, Cancer Club, Grief Circle's etc. Just to meet people. Or, you could move home to Utah and hang out with me all day every day. I am sure your choices aren't as bleek as just those but those are my ideas. love you!

  5. I agree with Emily, the new ones just don't have the same understanding as those who have been around forever. It's good to know that there are people out there who not only understand but find meaning and amusement in words like: raw potatoes, spafetti factory, bleeeess you (pronounced in a high pitched spanish accent), Honest Abe, the manicotti episode, tres tres very tres, gidget miguel is the best, etc. Can you think of others? :)

  6. oh my friend how i miss you!! i would say the biggest way to make friends and to keep friends is to go out of your comfort zone (not YOUR comfort zone, just people in general need to go out of their comfort zone.) Having a good friendship can be challenging because there are people that don't like "keeping in touch." But if you go out of your comfort zone then the likelyhood of meeting some awesome people will increase. even though we live far away, I was never one to believe that distance will ruin just means we have to try harder. i cherish our friendship lisa! love you!